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The Opposite of No

Oct 31,2012
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Hi everyone. My name’s Steven Lochran and I’m the author of the Vanguard Prime series. I’m also very excited to be Inside a Dog’s resident author/blogger for November.

As thrilled as I was to be offered this opportunity I have to admit that I hesitated a moment in saying “Yes”. For starters, I already have my own blog, where one entry a week feels like an accomplishment. I’m also in the process of writing a book, editing another, getting ready to move house, and organising (well, co-organising) my wedding, which will be taking place at the end of December. So…life is pretty busy.
 
Would I be able to live up this commitment? Should I very politely and very apologetically decline? Where do ninjas purchase those smoke bombs that allow them to escape without being seen? Could I use one of those to evade the question?
 
But to say no would be to conflict with a philosophy I’ve been trying to live by ever since my book was published. That philosophy is pretty simple. Whatever opportunity comes up, I have to say “Yes”.
 
And no, this philosophy wasn’t derived from attending a motivational seminar or from watching a Jim Carrey movie. If anything, it came from playing a game of Monopoly. Let me explain.
 
I have a friend who’s an actor. We met ten years ago in a play we were both in, back when I still nursed some semi-ambitions about maybe possibly trying to be an actor. While I chose not to follow that particular career path, my friend did. And though many people set out to be actors, he’s actually had success at it, with regular work on TV and in films and doing plays. The reason for that success is simple…I mean, if you set aside his talent and, as one newspaper nauseatingly put it, his “dark good looks”. The reason is that he says “Yes” a lot.
 
It was a difference in his attitude from mine that I noticed early on, when we were playing Monopoly (I told you I'd explain!). Every piece of property he landed on, he bought. I, on the other hand, was far more cautious, holding onto my money so that I could buy the “better” properties. Before too long, he owned over half the board and I was paying him rent almost every turn. He eventually won what turned out to be the fastest game of Monopoly I’ve ever played/lost.
 
I always envied him his confidence and seemingly endless energy. But the fact was he was just making the most of the opportunities that presented themselves. So when my own dream came true, with my first book being published in September this year, I made a resolution that I was going to do what my friend does. I wasn’t going to let doubt and uncertainty get the better of me. I was going to say “Yes”.
 
After all, it’s easy to live a comfortable life. All you have to do is take no chances. But if you want something more than that, then just say “Yes”. And worry about how you’ll make it all work later.
 
This has gotten way more preachy than I meant my first post to be, so I think I’ll wrap it up here. But before I go, I want to pose a question to you guys; have you said “Yes” to something you didn’t know you could do? That scared you? How did it work out? Let us know in the comments section below!

Nov 01,2012
Hi, ambivalence. Thanks for commenting! And congratulations on not only overcoming your fear of public speaking, but actually winning an award for it! That's so impressive! I've never enjoyed public speaking either. I think a lot of writers feel the same way, which isn't surprising given how much time we spend retreating into imaginary worlds. The irony of it is that, if you want to make a living as a writer, you have to do a LOT of public speaking. I always get very nervous leading up to it but find I end up enjoying it when I'm in the moment. One thing that really helped me was high school drama class. It taught me a lot of valuable skills about performing in front of a crowd. When I'm feeling especially overwhelmed at the idea of public speaking, I comfort myself by thinking that it's not me up there, it's just a role I'm performing. Thanks again for taking the time to comment. And you're absolutely right; it does feel good to say "I tried". It's much better than the regret that comes with never trying. Good luck with running for Arts captain. Let us know how it turns out!
Oct 31,2012
YES. Yes I did. I was nominated for an award, which, in order to win, you had to go through a public speaking contest. I hate public speaking, but I decided I didn't want to have any regrets, so I went ahead with it anyway. I didn't win the overall competition, but ironically, I won the public speaking part (x And recently, someone suggested I go for Arts captain in my school. Once again, public speaking is not my thing, and although the actual process doesn't involve it, if I were to get it there would be a lot of that. But I said okay, anyway, and ... the results haven't come out yet. But you know, it's weird, because I too kinda needed a wake up call to 'make the most of opportunities', and I find, so far, it gets easier and less stressful as you go. It actually feels good saying 'I tried.'
Oct 31,2012

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